Posted on May 5, 2009 by tubesteak
ARNDALE, OK - Sheriff’s investigators have closed the unsettling case of a 49-year-old female construction worker found dead in her driveway after a neighbor witnessed her using a high-powered jackhammer to pleasure herself.
After a two-day investigation in which officials initially suspected foul play-Shirley Dent’s death on May 1 has now been ruled an accident “after severe internal distress induced by the machine was discovered,” [...]
Filed under: events, not decent, romance | Tagged: construction, death, investigation, jackhammer, masturbation, oddity, prostitution, sex | 66 Comments »
Posted on April 15, 2009 by tubesteak
Never trust a dude wearing a visor unless his name is Freddy Couples. Why? Cause the dude is a douche who has no good reason for wearing such a sleazy accessory, other than imposing his self styled “sweetness” upon others who could really care less.
Problem is, the dude is never quite as snazzy as he thinks he is. His exaggerated enthusiasm, [...]
Filed under: not decent, pop culture, questions, style | Tagged: ego, enthusiasm, fashion, golf, hair, headwear, ignorance, trust, visors | No Comments »
Posted on April 7, 2009 by tubesteak
One of the most despicable types of gatherings is the sausage fest — a party where chicks are scarce or even non-existent, leaving guys to get obliterated so as to drown in their misery. Make no mistake, the overabundance of wieners is a huge blow to the ego and a somber affirmation that you’ll be going skin-less [...]
Filed under: bronsons, events, not decent, pop culture, questions, romance, style | Tagged: dudes, girls, parties, sausage, sausage fest, sausage party | No Comments »
Posted on April 2, 2009 by tubesteak
Main Entry: F.U.P.A.
Pronunciation: \fü-pə\
Function: noun
Etymology: American, from obese hogs frequenting McD’s.
1 : Acronym for fat upper pussy area. Also may stand for fat upper pubic area or fat upper penile area. Area has become enlarged due the overindulgence of snacks and is usually accompanied by sour stench.
2 : Home of ants, hornets nests, and assorted [...]
Filed under: grizzle, not decent, pop culture, questions, romance, style | Tagged: blubber, bugs, definition, erotica, fat, food, fupa, hygiene, snacks, ugly, weight gain | No Comments »
Posted on April 2, 2009 by fugaze
So by now you’ve probably heard the ShamWow! guy was recently arrested for beating up a hooker in Miami. Sounds like a classy guy. But I’ve found a few other interesting tidbits about Vince Shlomi (he also goes by Vince Offer). He was the driving force behind the failing Underground Comedy Movie, a DVD he [...]
Filed under: movies, not decent, ramblings, sports, tv, uncategorized | Tagged: facebook, Real World, Twitter, ShamWow!, ZEEBRA, Children's Books, Standard-Times | No Comments »
Posted on April 1, 2009 by tubesteak
Holy shit! This kid is goddamn unbelievable! He’s a 13-year-old conservative wonderkid named is Jonathan Krohn, and he’s exactly the type of dude whose ass I used to kick in elementary school. I’d gladly drop the hammer on him now if I wasn’t more than twice his age.
This bastard isn’t loathsome [...]
Filed under: events, not decent, online videos, politics, pop culture, questions | Tagged: beat down, conservatism, conservative, GOP, idealogy, Jonathan Krohn, nerd, policy, principles, republicans, twerp | 4 Comments »
Posted on March 18, 2009 by tubesteak
BOSTON, MA — In a joint statement released Wednesday afternoon, financial derelicts Bernard Madoff, R. Allen Stanford, and American International Group (AIG) condemned Decent Community for being the foremost purveyors of decency in America.
This curious alliance between three of our current recession’s figureheads formed to combat a growing sense of optimism and decency amidst widespread financial turmoil.
An [...]
Filed under: events, not decent, politics, pop culture, questions | Tagged: AIG, Allen Stanford, Bernard Madoff, finance, fraud, MLB, Money, New England Patriots, nfl, Ponzi, recession, Yankees | No Comments »
Posted on March 17, 2009 by tubesteak
Nothing freaks out The Community more than someone who cares way too much about cats. Cat lovers are usually lonely, older ladies with thick glasses, short hair, whose homes smell like urine. They’re grabbing onto whatever sense of companionship that’s available — even if it’s from a soul-less, sly, and stubborn feline.
Cat lovers will go berserk in defending [...]
Filed under: not decent, questions, romance, style | Tagged: animals, cat lovers, cats, love, pets, trust | No Comments »
Posted on March 16, 2009 by tubesteak
Dear Mr. Bluetooth Wearer,
It’s an unfortunate day for you, you smug bastard, because The Community is exposing you! That’s right you dickhead, we’re outing you to the world, and soon you’ll be finished! Nobody will have to watch you talking to yourself with those self-righteous spaceman ear devices — and we can all move on with [...]
Filed under: not decent, pop culture, questions, style | Tagged: Bluetooth, devices, exposed, open letter, phone, technology | 1 Comment »
Posted on February 26, 2009 by tubesteak
It’s just about every day when a fool tries to set someone up for a 211. Chances are - they fuck around and get caught up in a 187. And so it goes for residents of Compton and beyond - the daily grind of trying to avoid getting jacked up.
Section 187 of the California Penal Code defines [...]
Filed under: events, not decent, pop culture, questions, style, tunes | Tagged: Music, rap, 187, murder, Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, 2pac, Ice Cube, Compton, 50 Cent | No Comments »
Posted on February 20, 2009 by helmet head
Here is a short but to the point list of reasons McGreevy’s sucks:
Lousy bouncers. As I was puffing down a stoag I overheard the bouncers mock a group of people as the were walking by because they were talking about going to Lir. That’s just poor form. Lir isn’t that cool and McGreevy’s isn’t much [...]
Filed under: bars, boston, bronsons, local, not decent, style | Tagged: red sox, boston, boston bars, mcgreevy's, boston nightlife, bar reviews | 2 Comments »
Posted on February 18, 2009 by tubesteak
You’ve been there before - home after a night of getting bronsoned out, horny as a three balled tomcat, but nobody to turn to for a piece of ass. Unwilling to compromise, you refuse to masturbate - and your unsound judgement leads to the nearest portal of human contact — the telephone.
You search through the names [...]
Filed under: bronsons, not decent, online videos, questions, romance | Tagged: Beers, drinking, Drunk, drunk dial, romance, voicemail, reputation, rep, horny | 1 Comment »
Posted on February 6, 2009 by fugaze
WHITTIER, Calif — Want to name one of Nadya Suleman’s famous octuplets? You can, for the right price.
Ms. Suleman announced early Friday morning that she will auction off the rights to name her eight newborns.
“Diapers ain’t cheap. Baby food ain’t cheap. Day care ain’t cheap. College ain’t cheap,” Ms. Suleman said. “These babies will be [...]
Filed under: books, comedy, not decent, pop culture, style, uncategorized | Tagged: babies, Greed, Octuplets | 2 Comments »
Posted on January 23, 2009 by helmet head
Verizon now issues rebate debit cards as opposed to rebate checks claiming that the benefits, including ease of use, are better than the old-fashioned rebate check. I take issue with this - not because it’s more difficult to have funds transferred to your bank account with the new debit card or because it takes longer to get cold [...]
Filed under: not decent | Tagged: marketing, verizon, rebate cards, citi, verizon wireless, blackberry storm | 3 Comments »
Posted on January 14, 2009 by tubesteak
Unfortunately for us, the absurd franchise that’s Friday the 13th has pooped a 12th installment out of its rectum. No kidding? Six, seven, eight, nine, ten versions weren’t enough? Who are the sphincters lining up to watch this trash? What kind of ghetto logic keeps the horror industry afloat? It’s all cocksuckery. Pure and total nonsense.
Why are horror [...]
Filed under: events, movies, not decent | 2 Comments »
Posted on January 5, 2009 by helmet head
A recent Decent Community observational study has concluded that 99% of the world’s $2 bills are either currently owned by strip clubs or have passed through a strip club at some point in its existence. It’s really our own fault. What do we expect when we put a picture of the signing of the Declaration [...]
Filed under: bars, bronsons, not decent | 1 Comment »
Posted on December 22, 2008 by helmet head
The Community wishes Boston Celtics and avid Decent Community reader, Big Baby Davis a full recovery from a car accident he was in yesterday afternoon. On an epic team full of decent bastards there is non bigger than GBBD. Baby has had a breakout year this season and we hope he gets back on the courts [...]
Filed under: local, not decent, sports | No Comments »
Posted on December 22, 2008 by tubesteak
Searching around in my pockets this afternoon, looking for some spare lettuce to purchase an extra gift or two, I thought to myself about money, how it’s so easy to come by for some, while so many others struggle just to get by. I mean, it’s pretty incredible how much money our government is dishing [...]
Filed under: not decent, politics, questions | No Comments »
Posted on December 1, 2008 by tubesteak
First of all, The Community hopes that everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving with family and friends. It’s a great time of year to appreciate all that’s decent in our lives and to reunite with those who are important to us. Unfortunately, one second after Thanksgiving Thursday ends, we’re faced with one of the most horrendous days of [...]
Filed under: events, not decent | No Comments »
