I am a fart and I’d like to give you a whiff of the truth. All your hating must cease at once. I’m just a regular old bodily function — same as blinking, hiccuping or sneezing. So I smell like rotten eggs. That’s just who I am. I’m a fact of life, and it’s time I was treated more matter-of-factly.
Yes, I reek. I’m vulgar. Unpopular. Not fun to be around. Scary. The works. But let me tell you something — I’m a genuinely familiar part of your life. Whether you’re a porn star with huge titties or a grandpa with a wrinkly old pecker - you all know me pretty well.
Embrace me or continue to be miserable — cause I’m gonna be around as long as gas, vibration, and butt holes exist. And I’ll happily engulf you every chance I get. So instead of making disgusted faces and scrambling out of my range, I suggest you swallow the fact that everyone farts. I stink, but I’m not Bin Laden. I am a fart. Thank you for hearing me out.
Filed under: bronsons, funny, grizzle, questions, style | Tagged: family, gas, fart, making a case, rotten eggs, stink, acceptance
