It’s a question that’s been asked since toilet paper was invented - What’s the correct way to wipe your ass? You’ll get two answers to this inquiry from extremely divided camps. One group will tell you to fold the TP for a smooth, clean finish. The other group will prefer “scrunching” for reinforcement and to conform to the butt’s unconventional contours. Today The Community poses this question to our readers: Do you fold or scrunch?
In the comments section, please also let us know what variables come into play when making this decision. Are you in a hurry? Are you trying to avoid dingleberries? Are you worried about a finger slip? Does the quality of the TP matter? Does one style allow for better assessment of what remains? Please let us know!
**We understand that this may be a deeply personal matter, and Decent Community greatly appreciates your response!
Filed under: grizzle, online videos, questions, style | Tagged: bathroom, fold, scrunch, wiping
Scrunching seems like a no-brainer for me! You get more bang for your buck. Fewer wipes, less chance of getting poop on your fingers, less time wiping, etc.
Perhaps the better question would be: Do you wipe standing up or sitting down??
I despise folders (unless you are a woman). I’m sure most women fold as opposed to scrunch.
Sorry Helmet head but I must disagree. Folding is a much more humane way to “wipe”. The paper is already shaped for the fold, with serrated edges for perfect shape. The fold allows for a smooth separation between man and feces.
However, it must be noted that paper quality does play a role in my paper orientation. If it is the generic waxy paper I don’t think there is really a choice. You must scrunch in order to maximize friction or else your going to wipe at warp speed and the results can be detrimental (poop finger).
Lastly, the fold allows for visual inspection of those all too rare “perfect” shits.
Eugene- Who wipes standing up?
Gnarles,
Great to hear from you!
I agree with you on 1 point. 1) The fold does appear to be the more “humane” way to wipe.
However, simple physics indicates that the scrunch is more effective and you touched on this above. I ask you this: What grabs chunks of turf better a flat shoe or a cleat? Obviously a cleat is more effective.
Moreover, when one accidentally steps on poop wearing a flat surfaced shoe the result is often a smearing effect (fold), as opposed to when you step on poop barefoot and it oozes between your toes (scrunch). The air pockets between your toes pick up tons of moist turd much in the same way the air pockets in a scrunched up ball of TP pick the poo out of your bum bum.
Scrunching,
Helmet
Eugene and Gnarly — I wipe standing up. It’s just something I’ve always been comfortable with. The one exception is if I’m at a restaurant or bar or some place like that. Then I just go for speed, so there’s no time to stand up and wipe.
As for wiping — I’m a definite scruncher. Tried both, but scrunching gives a better clean in fewer wipes. It also gives less chance to get poop on your hand. I’ll never understand how some think folding is better!
There’s also another option — which would be just hopping in the shower after your poop and mushing the remains down the drain with your feet. You must remember to clean your feet afterwards!
I definetly go for the scrunch- it may be a bit barbaric - but it does the job that would take at least 2 or 3 “goes” with a folded piece… Folding, while good in theory (neater) is just bad in practice.. I would also like to make the point that I stand-up as well- there is just too much margin for error in the seated position- I need to be in full control- however, this can be troublesome with the “new age” auto-flush toilets that take the standing as a sign that you are done and have left the room… leads to the need to sit again “trick” the toilet into a double flush…
Also, another interesting point- I recently found out that my cousin (male) wipes from back to front - in what is generally accepted as the “female manner”- I think that this is also barbaric and leads to the unwanted “face-to-face” encounter…