decent community

WHITTIER, Calif — Want to name one of Nadya Suleman’s famous octuplets? You can, for the right price.

Ms. Suleman announced early Friday morning that she will auction off the rights to name her eight newborns.

“Diapers ain’t cheap. Baby food ain’t cheap. Day care ain’t cheap. College ain’t cheap,” Ms. Suleman said. “These babies will be financially secure for the rest of their lives. And I’ll be loaded.”

One of Ms. Suleman’s newly hired publicists outlined a plan to purchase the rights. All right names will be auctioned off on the Internet. Ms. Suleman’s publicist said the opening bid for a child will be $1 million, but anticipated the number will grow much higher.

“We’ve already had inquiries from corporations seeking an outstanding advertising opportunity. Google, Microsoft, Exxon-Mobil and GoldenPalaceCasino.com have already showed interest,” the publicist said.

David Jurshvich, an expert on greedy parents with the American Institute of Sociology and Behavior Sciences, told Decent Community that, “this is the worst I’ve ever imagined.”

What if some really rich guy wants to name one of the kids NeedleDick?” Mr. Jurshvich asked. “(Ms. Suleman) is clearly the worst human being ever created.”

Economist Frank Peshbity speculated the bidding could reach the hundreds of millions.

“This is really a unique advertising opportunity. These babies will be in the national spotlight for years,” said Mr. Peshbity, who sat on the board at Colombia University before becoming a partner in the Wall Street investment house Dalton, Peshbity and Johnson, P.I.Y. “There is no telling how much these corporations, especially the ones who received billions from President Bush’s Financial Bailout package, will spend.”

Ms. Suleman, a 33-year-old single mother with 14 total children who lives with her mother and collected more than $165,000 in government disability checks between 2002-2008 while giving birth to child after child, has inked deals with two publishers for a series of parenting books and a monthly magazine. And, according to her publicist, is working on a multi-million dollar reality TV show deal with TLC. A line of baby clothes and healthy organic foods are also being proposed.