Sometimes I feel like a one-legged son of a bitch in an ass-kicking contest! I mean, seriously! I’m just trying to keep it real and decent for Christ sakes. Cut me some slack! Urghghghghghgh!
Below are some situations when I have thought to myself, “Shit man! I feel like a one-legged pecka head in an ass-kicking contest!”
- When my girl gives me heat for no reason. One-legged man!
- When I’m stuck behind some piece of crap driving 55 in the left lane. Burnt! One-legged!
- When I make a tasty cake but fall short in artistry and workmanship. C’mon now!
- Watching the Pats hand it to Denver on MNF, but having to listen to Tony Kornheiser. Snap! (His hair is not a good scene, which is his own one-legged man scenario in itself).
- When I order a Molsen Golden and some snot nose kid brings me a Molson Canadian. Gosh darn it!
You can’t have good without bad, so if there’s one decent thing that comes out of feeling like a one-legged bastard in an ass-kicking contest, is when you get both your legs back under you and resume kicking ass. C’s start next Tuesday!
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