April is coming to a close and the Red Sox are currently 15-12 going into tonight’s game against the Jays. The Sox are on a five game losing streak, which comes after a streak in which they went 10-1. They had a difficult travel schedule to begin the season. Overall, a fair start thus far. Here’s how I’d grade each player’s performance:
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SHWAG (Straight dirt, brown, seeds all over the freakin place, crumbles when you touch it, really nothing you want to be associated with) - Ortiz, Timlin, Delcarmen.
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MIDDIES (Usually not acceptable unless that’s all you can get, there’s definitely something better out there, fit to a scrounger’s taste) - Lester, Tavarez, Lopez, Lowell.
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BEASTERS (Close to what you’re looking for, and can get the job done on many occasions, satisfactory) - Lugo, Drew, Youk, Crisp, Lowrie, Casey, Tek, Cash, Aardsma, Bucholz, Wake.
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HEADIES - (The good shit you’re looking for day-in and day-out, high-quality, consistent acheivement of desired results, these players are also members of decent community) Manny, Pedroia, Ellsbury, Daisuke, Beckett, Papelbon, Okijima.
So I guess that after one month of the season, the sox can generally be compared to beasters. Not bad — but I’d definitely prefer headies. These are just one man’s grades. If you don’t think they’re decent, then you can go smoke some shwag and relax somewhere.
